Devils, Angels, and the flu.

It's been awhile since I've written anything. I could say I was way too busy with school to write anything but that would be a lie. And I don't lie.... often. So I just finished my english essay and I figured (Picture though bubble coming out of my head) "Hey, your stuck at home with this awful chest cold, why don't you write something?" And here I am. I don't really have much to say because currently my thought process consists of (Picture a little devil on my right shoulder) "Sleep, relax, fuck school." But on the other hand (yup this time you picture and angel on my left shoulder) "No, you have a test tomorrow you should be studying" (I have a few more lines of this so I'm just going to do it out like a dialogue)
"But it's not like you studied in high school and you done well enough to actually get into MUN."
"But MUN is harder and she should be studying more then she did in High School."
"But she realized it was the set up that caused her to fail those 2 assignments."
"But the fact that she failed them should encourage her to study more."

I'd continue this but it could go on forever.

So instead of studying I've been watching Full House and going through my music either getting rid of it or getting the album artwork. I'm trying to make room on my ipod for my Christmas music. I'm going back home in a few weeks and I'm going to be putting my christmas music on my macbook while I'm there. I guess that's all for today.

I Am J Stans

To Crush or To Be Crushed, that is the question.

Crush (informal): a brief but intense infatuation for someone, esp. someone unattainable or inappropriate.

[Dictionary]

Crush: a painful experience, very common amoung middle schoolers (and high schooler's and even adults to a lesser degree) that involves being obsessed with a member of the opposite sex (or the same sex, if u prefer), being attracted to them physically (most common), or emotionally- also called 'puppy love' also: the object of this affection.

[Urban Dictionary]

Although both of these definitions are fairly similar, it is only the Urban Dictionary definition that gives a true meaning. It does this by describing it as "a painful experience". but what neither of these definitions can do is tell you how painful a crush is. I imagine anyone (if anyone) reading this has had a crush once in there life and knows exactly how painful it can be. All throughout high school I had crushes. This summer I told myself I wasn't going to like anyone until I know I can have them. I was good for the summer. But, about a month of living in town, I started hanging out with an old friend. This old friend also happened to be an old crush. One that I had a lot of feelings for. And, unfortunately these feelings returned. Just as unfortunate, these feelings are pretty much at the same strength. What makes the situation even worse is that he is probably the most unattainable guy. He likes another girl and has liked her for some time. This girl tells him she has feelings for him but has yet to prove it and he just sits around waiting for the girl to finally want to be with him. I think the girls a bitch. I thought it before i started liking him and I think it now. She's a cock-blocker. He won't look at others girls in an affectionate way because he is too hung up on her. I thought maybe that if I worked some magic on him I could change his mind about this other girl. But I'm starting to think it maybe pointless and I'm starting to go through the same pain I did before. A pain that caused sleepless nights. Kind of like this one. I just hope I can get over him faster then last time.

I Am J Stans