As an introvert I don't really like meeting new people. Actually, I don't really like people in general. But, regardless, I agree to meet new people with this notion in my head that I'm going to try to not be extremely awkward and shy. Then when I meet the person I'm trying to hard not to be award and shy I end up being obnoxious and loud and people think I'm over the top. So really, there isn't a happy medium here. I'm either shy and awkward or over the top with my personality.
Now my psychologist (yes I go see a psychologist) tells me I have to change my self talk. I'm supposed to not believe that I'm less then what I actually am. I'm supposed to believe that everyone likes me until they don't. I guess it's sort of like the whole "innocent until proven guilty" sort of ordeal. Which, I agree is right. But it's not really that easy. You have to spend all this time thinking and concentrating on how you want to portray yourself and how you don't think this person isn't judging you on your looks (which they probably are - but that's besides the point) and you have less brain capacity to concentrate on the goings on around you. It's kind of like mystic from x-men. She had to concentrate on making herself look like Jennifer Lawrence so she spent less concentrating on her surroundings.
There really is no easy way to go about in life. So I'm going to go out and start throwing lemons at people because they have lives and I don't.
No comments:
Post a Comment