Immaturity

Listening to :Naturi Naughton - Fame (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) – Fame

Current Mood: Bored and annoyed

I’d never thought I’d see the the day when I found my friends dirty mindedness immature. It was great and all when I first came home. But now it’s starting to get old and kind of of immature. I’m not say I’m the most mature person in the bunch because I’m not. Yeah sure I laugh at it and first I honestly thought it was funny but it’s to the point where I have to fake a laugh. I think moving in town caused me to grow up a whole lot. I’m a bit more independent and responsible from having to take care of myself and I also learned to know when enough is enough. I’m not saying all my friends are immature either. I’m saying that there is a select few that is the cause of the annoyance. I’m not saying I don’t like this person anymore I’m just saying that I need a break from it. So I’m going to return to my apartment in St. John’s and look for work. Hopefully my friend Kandice will be joining me. I’m going to be sharing an apartment with her in a few months. She’s probably the only one of my friends I can  share an apartment with because we’re really close. Kind of like sisters. We have had our little fights but we get through them quickly. :) Now that I got that off my chest I shall go wallow in self pity.

I AM J Stans

Glee!

Currently listening to: Nothing playing

Mood: Tired

At this point I would apologize for not posting yesterday but why should I? It’s not like anyone is reading this. Besides myself. But if I am wrong and someone is reading this and religiously then I’m sorry for not posting. But you have to realize I do live. Yesterday, I went to Marystown and my Glee on DVD. Which I happen to be watching as I type this. It’s an amazing show and if you aren’t watching it then you should get online and find a good link to watch it. It’s one of those happy go lucky shows with a music but it still has some drama on the go. I would tell you but then that would ruin it. The only thing I will say is that there are some pretty good looking people in the show. Along with two Canadians.  Theres not really much more to say.

I AM J Stans

Been Awhile

Current Mood: Bored and Tired

Listening to: Breathe – Taylor Swift (Fearless Platinum edition)

It’s been while since I’ve done this so I’m probably a bit rusty. Merry Christmas hopefully yours was good. My was good until the end it. Kind of got ruined by this HUGE fight between me and my dad. It was horrible. By the end of the day I didn’t want to touch anything that i had gotten earlier that day.  If it weren’t for going to my friend Kandice’s house I probably would have fell asleep very early that night. But my Christmas did get brighter. On Sunday I went to Marystown to do some shopping and I ran into a friend that I was kind of on the outs with and we decided that we should talk again. Or that’s the story I’m telling my parents. In all honesty we had been talking for a while. i just didn’t want to tell anyone because I didn’t know how they would react. But I think we’re going to be okay. He’s a good friend and although his criticism can be harsh sometimes it’s the truth and he doesn’t like lying to me he wants me to see the truth and if I don’t like it them for me to change it. New Years is just around the corner. The common question of this time of the year is “What’s your New Years resolution?” My answer is simple. I don’t have one. I never make a resolution, so I never get disappointed. I’m going to try and blog more. Apparently windows has this writer which is what I’m using now. So I’ll probably do it more often.

I Am J Stans

Boredom and Boys

I know I've already done this today but I am incredibly bored. I don't really have a whole lot to say so this might be a bunch of complete random rubbish. But I was thinking. I'm really good friends with this guy and I've known him since I was in preschool. But for the past little while it doesn't seem like he cares to talk to me. I always talk to him. I think it might be because he's always stuck up this girls ass. He apparently cares for her a lot. Yet I'm the one that listens to his crap. Thats right I called it crap. Why? Because that's what it is.  He over thinks things. Looks too much into detail and that is why he is seeing a psychiatrist. He's been my friend for a good many years and I've even had a crush on him for a while. Although I feel bad because I don't like doing this to good friends but I've decided to give him the silent treatment. Although he probably won't notice since he too busy taking care of her needs. Not sexual needs. Just everything else. The boy's still a virgin. Yes maybe I'm also a virgin but it's acceptable for me. He's a boy he's supposed to score. Or at least that what the stereotype suggest. Anyway I don't think I have anything else to say. I'm kinda bored and none of the internet movie websites are working. So I don't know what I'm going to do. :(

The Elle Woods Phenomenon

For the past 4 days I have taking the 10 min walk to the gym on campus. For everyone one of these days I went complaining. I was tired, it was cold, I'll go tomorrow. These were the excuses I was trying to pull on my friend who was encouraging me. But did they work on him. Not a chance! Each one of these days he would force me to go. And even though I hated for the entire walk there. Once I actually got into the gym, and got going I was okay. Of course me being me I got bored with the treadmill easily but I listened to my music, focused on whatever was going on downstairs on the track, and not on the time on the machine. I quickly found out that constantly looking down at the time only makes it go slower.

At the gym I workout at there is a half an hour time limit for each machine. For the first three days I would say screw the rule and stay on the treadmill for anywhere from half an hour to a full hour. But today I decided I would switch it up a bit. That was probably the best decision I've made this week (besides actually listening to my friend) because I discovered my new love... The Elliptical. This amazing creation gets your entire body moving. It's kind of like your running but your on a machine. I decided that I would make it part of my daily routine.

Exercise is probably the hardest thing to fit into our daily lives because we're always so "busy". Busy doing what? Being on the computer, talking to our friends/other half for hours on end. If you had to make a change into your life I would suggest putting in an hour workout everyday. Or at least 45 mins. it'll be tough at first forcing yourself to go everyday but take it from me the feeling you get afterword is exhilarating.  When Elle Woods (Legally Blonde) said that "Exercise give you endorphins, endorphins make you happy." She was absolutely right because even though I'm warm, sweaty and tired after my workout I couldn't be happier.

But it takes time getting used to the fact that your going to the gym everyday. I bet you 10 bucks tomorrow I'll be getting a text from my friend telling me if I don't get to that gym I'm gonna hear it. He means business too. Yesterday he fought with me for 2 hours to go to the gym and I ended up going in the end. So if you need that shove to go, ask a friend to either go with you and encourage you. After a week or two going to the gym will become part of your daily routine and you will fill lost if you don't get to go.

I Am J Stans

November 6, 2009 (Nothing creative here)

It's 9:58am on a Friday morning and I'm in Chemistry. It's probably one of my worst classes because it's extremely boring. We're basically doing everything I did in high school. I came to university to learn new things not refresh my memory of high school. (For some reason I have the song "That's what I go to school for by Busted stuck in my head) Another peeve about this class is it's freezing outside and I didn't wear a hat so now my ear is acting like a little bitch. So I'm sitting is the very back of an almost empty lecture hall listening to stuff I already know with an incredibly runny nose because it's supposed to snow today. After this incredibly boring class I have to head to my English class which happens to be one of my favourite classes but I haven't been there in a week so I'm kind of afraid to find out what I missed.

I Am J Stans

Devils, Angels, and the flu.

It's been awhile since I've written anything. I could say I was way too busy with school to write anything but that would be a lie. And I don't lie.... often. So I just finished my english essay and I figured (Picture though bubble coming out of my head) "Hey, your stuck at home with this awful chest cold, why don't you write something?" And here I am. I don't really have much to say because currently my thought process consists of (Picture a little devil on my right shoulder) "Sleep, relax, fuck school." But on the other hand (yup this time you picture and angel on my left shoulder) "No, you have a test tomorrow you should be studying" (I have a few more lines of this so I'm just going to do it out like a dialogue)
"But it's not like you studied in high school and you done well enough to actually get into MUN."
"But MUN is harder and she should be studying more then she did in High School."
"But she realized it was the set up that caused her to fail those 2 assignments."
"But the fact that she failed them should encourage her to study more."

I'd continue this but it could go on forever.

So instead of studying I've been watching Full House and going through my music either getting rid of it or getting the album artwork. I'm trying to make room on my ipod for my Christmas music. I'm going back home in a few weeks and I'm going to be putting my christmas music on my macbook while I'm there. I guess that's all for today.

I Am J Stans

To Crush or To Be Crushed, that is the question.

Crush (informal): a brief but intense infatuation for someone, esp. someone unattainable or inappropriate.

[Dictionary]

Crush: a painful experience, very common amoung middle schoolers (and high schooler's and even adults to a lesser degree) that involves being obsessed with a member of the opposite sex (or the same sex, if u prefer), being attracted to them physically (most common), or emotionally- also called 'puppy love' also: the object of this affection.

[Urban Dictionary]

Although both of these definitions are fairly similar, it is only the Urban Dictionary definition that gives a true meaning. It does this by describing it as "a painful experience". but what neither of these definitions can do is tell you how painful a crush is. I imagine anyone (if anyone) reading this has had a crush once in there life and knows exactly how painful it can be. All throughout high school I had crushes. This summer I told myself I wasn't going to like anyone until I know I can have them. I was good for the summer. But, about a month of living in town, I started hanging out with an old friend. This old friend also happened to be an old crush. One that I had a lot of feelings for. And, unfortunately these feelings returned. Just as unfortunate, these feelings are pretty much at the same strength. What makes the situation even worse is that he is probably the most unattainable guy. He likes another girl and has liked her for some time. This girl tells him she has feelings for him but has yet to prove it and he just sits around waiting for the girl to finally want to be with him. I think the girls a bitch. I thought it before i started liking him and I think it now. She's a cock-blocker. He won't look at others girls in an affectionate way because he is too hung up on her. I thought maybe that if I worked some magic on him I could change his mind about this other girl. But I'm starting to think it maybe pointless and I'm starting to go through the same pain I did before. A pain that caused sleepless nights. Kind of like this one. I just hope I can get over him faster then last time.

I Am J Stans

Privacy and Boys

I have a couple things to talk about today; Privacy and Boys.

Privacy:

My favourite thing about living away from my parents is my privacy. I have this whole apartment to myself. I can dance, sing, play games and walk around naked if I wanted to (not that I actually do that... on a regular basis). But ever since last week when I had a mental breakdown I haven't be able to shake my Mom. I asked her to come in because it was a Monday and I didn't really want to be left alone. On Friday, I went back to GB to see my friends. I spent most of my time with my friends. Now today, my parents have come in because my Dad has meetings so my mom is staying with me while my Dad is staying at a hotel. lets just say I can't wait for tuesday. I know people think I'm horrible for saying that because some people don't have parents. But honestly I don't have as good of a relationship with them as they think. it's sad to say but I don't even miss them. I miss my friends more then my parents. Next year when my friends move in town with me they will probably see me on holidays Christmas, maybe spring break and maybe the summer. I like my privacy and unfortunately this past week I haven't been able to get it and it's starting to get to me. Which only means my parents should be ready for sauce.

Boys:

So lately besides the fact that I've been annoyed by no privacy I've been getting. I've been in a happy mood. For the past 4/5 months I've gone without liking anyone and now I like someone.  So instead of getting my hopes up thinking that well maybe this guy has feelings for me I think No. He probably doesn't have feelings for me because I have no confidence and how is a guy supposed to be confident in dating me if I have no confidence in myself. So I'm going to do something about it. I'm using it as positive impact. I'm using a guy as motivation to do the changes on myself that i had planned to do before I moved in here.  I know people say it's wrong to change for a guy, but what if it's helping you too?

I'm pretty sure thats all I had to say for today.

I Am J Stans.

My Weight Loss Promise

I wish I was weighed less. I have to be honest with myself. Although I keep telling myself I'm happy, in all truths, I'm not. I also realize I'm lazy. I want to lose the weight but I'm not willing to work for it. Well.. that is about to change my friends. I plan on working as hard as I can to lose this weight. I will be happy. I am going to walk every day and try to eat as healthy as possible, This is a promise I am making to myself. I have to do this. I can't just stand by anymore. Wish me luck.

I Am J Stans

A friday blog... unfinished

Today is english class we were discussing "Obasan" and "Stones". These are short stories. One is about the chinese or japanese and how they used to get mistreated by Canadians and the other is the effects of war on a solider and his family. We discussed  about how if we were put in that situation we would probably act the same way. Well I had a thought. I kept this thought to myself because I'm not one for speaking out during class. Basically I thought about that if someone asked us would we act the same way, more then likely we respond saying no we wouldn't. But would we really? How can we really answer that question truthfully unless we knew what it was like to be in that situation. In most cases there is a pretty good chance we would act the same way as them.


Note: I started this on friday and I wasn't able to finish until today and I lost my train of thought. Sorry

I Am J Stans

Bad Days and all of their glory.

Bad Days. I don't know what it's like for most people but I tend to have a multiple amounts of bad days. Maybe I have an unheard of disease known as baddayiouses or maybe it's just when I wake up and something turns out bad I am determined that the rest of the day will likely turn out the same way. Low and behold, I'm usually right. But truthfully I know it's my own fault. Since I have already predetermined that the rest of my day will turn out completely wrong I am more then likely to do things that make it seem that way or I will view things with more of a negative twist then it truly is. What I'm trying to say is that although I am a full believer in everything happens for a reason some little things like having some trouble with a printer or internet can be turned into something completely negative if we are expecting it to happen. For example: Say you wake up one morning and stub your toe ultimately, not only are you in aggravating pain, but your cursing and swearing and more then likely getting pretty mad. After the pain has gone away you'll probably end up saying "Just my luck, another bad day." Now stop right there, how can you tell if your having a bad day if you haven't lived it yet. 9 chances out of 10 your not psychic. So truly you have no idea if the rest of the day will be bad or not. But what you have done is set up for a bad day. As you get ready your going to be grumpy and focusing on the fact that your day will more then likely turn out bad. So instead of focusing on the task at hand you begin to get clumsy and aren't doing anything right, which on a normal case is a sure sign that so far your day is going terribly. Finally your all dressed and you leave the house and about to walk/drive to school/work when just when you get out the door you find out it's pouring. Your would probably say at this point "Just my luck!" figuring that just because your having a bad day it has to rain. But really if you had watch the 6 o'clock news the night before you would have known about the chance of showers or if you looked out your window you would have been prepared. So finally your day is done and you back at home all ready to relax. But, before you can do that you have dishes to do so you start the dishes and since your still focuses on that fact that your day has been bad you will fumble with a few or even drop a dish or two. Once thats over with, you head to bed to watch TV. This is the only time of day you can really say that you've had a bad day. Let me repeat that THIS IS THE ONLY TIME, not in the morning or mid after noon. What you can say in the morning if you stub your toe is "Oh great what a lovely start to a morning. I hope the rest of the day doesn't turn out this way." Then you go off on your merry way thinking nothing of it. You may tell a friend or two but you realize it's nothing major. If you continue to have a "bad day" then around midday you can say "Well that's just great, so far my day has been horrible."But again you're just addressing it your not really thinking anything of it. So, basically what I've been trying to say within all this mumbo-jumbo is... If your NOT psychic then 9 chances out of 10 you are predetermining a bad day when truly if it wasn't for the thought in your mind the entire day that it's going to go horribly it probably would be so bad or you probably wouldn't be able to view it as bad. Just try and keep that little thought in your head next time your "having a bad day". I know I will be.

I Am J Stans

Television and it's quirks.

TV. Something many of us take advantage of. But for those of us who are pulling our hair out on a weekday night because we don't have a channel that is showing our favourite show, well, we no longer take advantage of that. The unfortunate part is that although many people are having the same problem as I am tonight, no one has the decency to stream channels so that anyone can watch them from all over the world and not just those trying to watch in the states. Although thankful to Youtube, we are able to watch them the day after at most times they don't have the final most crucial minutes from the show and you have to go to some other website to watch them. But instead of being able to freely watch the show on this site you have to fill out a survey. I miss the days when there weren't so many channels and it was simple to watch your favourite show at night. But then again maybe I'm full of BS and you don't give a shit that some 18 year old University student can't watch any CW shows on her TV because she doesn't have the channel. But then again, if you made it this far you probably give a shit about what I'm saying and thats all that matters.

I Am J Stans